Do young folk really believe that when grey hairs start sprouting from your head that the grey cells simultaneously fall out the back of your head, following you around like a bad case of dandruff?
The other day I was in the electronics department of Target, wanting to purchase a 5-disc changer. I said to the young man behind the counter, "Please, sir, can you please direct
me to the 5-disc changers?"
"Certainly, ma'm," he said cheerfully and led me to an impresssive display of...well, boom boxes. "Here you go."
"But these are boom boxes," I said. "I want a 5-disc changer."
"They're the same thing. Just different names. Maybe you called them 5-disc changers when you were younger."
"When I was younger, I didn't call them anything, because they hadn't been invented!"
"They've been around forever. You probably just weren't familiar with them."
"Au contraire, mon ami," I said. "In the whole history of the world a boom box and a 5-disc changer have never, ever been considered the same thing." I could feel the volume of my voice increasing and developing that strident quality that sends neighborhood dogs fleeing. "That's as stupid as saying an electric can opener and a Mixmaster are one and the same thing." I do believe I was pretty much shrieking at this point.
"M'am, you need to calm down." I think until this point he thought he was just dealing with a harmless little old lady.
"And you need to stop being such a patronizing, uninformed jackass. I'm taking my business to Circuit City. The folks over there are bright enough to know the difference between a boom box and a 5-disc changer." With that I thwomped him over the head with my walker.
I hope he's learned that harmless little old ladies can turn turn into crazy old ladies with anger management problems in a New York minute.